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Lost in the Twenty Somethings -
I read an article a few weeks ago by a guy who explained each decade of a human being’s life, giving descriptions of what should be expected (mentally) from each period. I like that kind of stuff, but I do think it’s hard to generalize the mental experiences of people early in life… we are all brought up in such different environments (which are all we know at the time), that I wouldn’t be confident in saying my first 10 years were exactly like anyone else’s… We’d all probably say that. As we get older though, I feel like we inevitably learn more about other people, cultures, religions, etc… giving us no choice but to be more open-minded (even for those who fight it). I can admit that I’m closed-minded about being open-minded…I think it’s 100% necessary to look at the world in a nonjudmental light, in order to treat people how they should be treated. I’m constantly challenging things I’ve been taught in the past, just to see/experience for myself. I learn a lot that way, and almost always see things differently than I did before.
One period of our lives that I feel like can be generalized to an extent is years 20-29. I’m 26 now, so I don’t know everything (maybe?), but I do observe a lot that goes on around me. Prior to our twenties, there is some sort of direction… some hint of a path to take. Clearly, all of our paths are different, but there’s usually an arrow pointing somewhere. In elementary school, I knew I’d go to junior high eventually, even though it always seemed far away. In junior high, I had high school to see on the horizon… after that, college or the workforce, etc…. Once the twenties hit and college winds down, you start to lose sight of that path that once existed. It’s a gradual disappearance, like a road that turns into gravel, then dirt, then just open space.
I relate this period of life to standing in the middle of a field and someone yelling, “GO!” You hear it loud and clear, but you don’t know which way to go, no one is pointing to help you, and there is no finish line in sight… you could literally run in any direction, knowing each of which will drastically change the plot of the story you’re writing. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve had this discussion with. We all come to the same conclusion… we don’t really have a clue about anything. A lot of plans/sure-things don’t work out the way you think they will (not meant to be a negative statement)… some things will be better, some will be worse, some will be different than what you saw in your head.
The Twenties are a time to find yourself (I know that sounds spacey, but I believe it)… Friends that aren’t real friends will get weeded out, and new ones will present themselves at unexpected times. At this stage in the process, there’s no reason to sugarcoat anything.. If someone is bad for your life, get them out of it. You can’t plead ignorance after being alive for 20 years. You know what makes you a better person, just as you know what will hold you back from living the life you want to live. As I touched on before, there’s a lot of cynicism out there… maybe time itself makes some people negative —- maybe they don’t get exactly what they want, so they hope others can share their misfortune… I don’t know. Regardless, this is the time to do exactly what you want, and your true supporters will be made known. People that actually care about you will stand by your decisions, accomplishments, and success without a hint of resentment.
I honestly believe that 99% of people in their twenties are lost to some extent… I don’t think we’re supposed to know everything just yet. A lot of people who you think have it all figured out, absolutely do not.. Mentally, I know I’m developing in ways that I haven’t ever developed before, due to circumstances and events I couldn’t have possibly predicted. The unknown is a strange thing, but it doesn’t have to be as intimidating as people let it be. The suspense is actually really cool. There’s no need to stress… life is going to happen around you whether you want it to or not. It’s easier to relax when you can accept the fact that nothing will ever be black and white…. no decision will ever be simple. [Wooooooosah]
”If there’s no path, make a path.”
l’amour est stupide ensemble
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
i am here in my mind